What Do You Want?

Hindsight is 20/20. I have a love-hate relationship with that phrase. I love saying it to other people. I hate having it said to me. No one ever uses that phrase to explain a good situation. It only ever graces the ears in the wake of calamity.

Several years ago my husband and I made an investment that we hoped would be a blessing to our family. We bathed it in labor, time, sacrifice and money; but it turned sour anyway. The process of disentangling ourselves was enormously stressful and financially precarious. We fought a war with anxiety over the nightmare scenarios we were facing; most of which didn't come to pass. We are still in the process of recovery.

Before this trial began I had started a daily meditation on the Beatitudes and the Lord's Prayer. One day, in the midst of the trial, I entered my prayer closet to pray over our situation and meditate on the Word. When I spoke the words, "give us this day our daily bread," it seemed the Holy Spirit was praying with me. I moved forward into the Beatitudes. When I spoke the words, "blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God," it seemed, again, as if the Holy Spirit was speaking the words with me. I went through the Lord's Prayer and Beatitudes five more times and each time those two phrases came alive.

I didn't have to wonder what God was trying to tell me. I knew. In effect He was asking me to take an inventory of my heart and identify my desires; the desires that were causing me fear and anxiety.

What did I want? I wanted my bills paid, I wanted to be out of debt, I wanted to keep my house. All of these were righteous desires, but I suddenly realized they could not be called pure desires. When a desire is not pure, it can become an idol, a stumbling block in our spiritual life that harms our relationship with God. This happens when obtaining the thing we want is more important to us than God Himself. This is a sublte process, but one that all of us can easily fall victim to- especially believers.

Thousands of years ago there was a man named Asaph who struggled with this issue. He was a faithful man who loved and obeyed God. Yet all around him he saw that while the faithful were enduring hardships - the lawless, unrighteous, and irreligious were prospering. They were healthy, wealthy, happy and popular - while the faithful were poor, sick and despised. He was jealous. He believed, rightly so, that such blessings and prosperity belong to the righteous. So he got angry with God; and he came close to losing faith.

Asaph went to the Temple to inquire of God about this injustice. This was a wise action on Asaph's part, for God met him there and spoke. Asaph was given the gift of seeing as God sees; if only for a moment. He saw through today and tomorrow, into the deep future life where justice rules. He came away changed. Here is what he discovered:

"Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart," (Psalm 73:1)

Asaph experienced a change of heart and desire. When he went into the Temple he wanted health, money, success, and respect. When he exited, after time with God, he said this:

"Who have I in heaven but You? and earth has nothing I desire besides You," (Psalm 73:25).

During our financial hardship God was challenging me to see if I could honestly say to Him; "there's nothing on earth I desire besides You." The first few times I said that outloud I had to swallow the lump in my throat. But I kept saying it until I meant it. A man's life does not consist of his possessions or accomplishments; peace and life are found in union with Christ through all circumstances. If none of my hopes came to pass, I would still be His and my future was secure.

Health, wealth, bills paid, houses saved from foreclosure, getting a good job...these are all good things; things God wants for us. Pray for those things without hesitation for we serve a loving and generous God who cares for us. He is good to us. But as you map your hierarchy of needs and desires place all else beneath a desire for Christ as both your treasure in heaven, and earth.

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God," (Matthew 5:8)